Television legend and Soul Train creator and host Don Cornelius allegedly ended his own life early this morning. There are so many awesome posts floating around the internet today that honor his life and give details of his amazing and record-breaking career. Here are a few:
- ‘Soul Train’ host Don Cornelius dies in apparent suicide
- Don Cornelius Dead at Age 75
- Don Cornelius Is Gone—And a Part of Us Has Gone with Him
- ‘Soul Train’ creator Don Cornelius died of gunshot wound to head
- Don Cornelius Dead Of Apparent Suicide: LAPD
Many sentiments I have read across the web really make an effort to focus on his life and not how he may have died. I applaud this perspective because it definitely has its place, however, being a person who has struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for almost 2 decades, I plan on focusing on how he may have died. First let me say this … whenever I hear that someone has taken their own life my stomach drops into my feet and I sigh so deeply in my soul. I do so because, unlike many it seems, I totally get where that person’s mind was/is at the time that they just wanted life to stop, for the noise to end. Before I go on, no one needs to write me any lengthy notes about the value of life at this time. I’m ok, I’m not there right now … but I have been and I can relate and understand the mind of the depressed and suicidal. This post is really for the person who has and is struggling with depression … you, yes you … sitting there feeling like now one understands where you are. If anyone else gleans from it then that’s ok too.
I believe musicians tend to say it best:
It’s not an easy road
ah-many see the glamour and the glitter
so them think ah bed of rose.
Who feels it knows
Ooh Lord help me sustain these blows!
From the minute of birth you enter this earth
obstacles inna your way to overcome first
Throughout everyday they seem to get worse
Oh my God cast away this curse
~ Buju Banton
Sunday is gloomy,
My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows
I live with are numberless
Little white flowers
Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of
Sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought
Of ever returning you
Would they be angry
If I thought of joining you?
~ Billie Holiday
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
‘Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
~ Tears For Fears
Prayerfully this post is not too gloomy for the masses, but it’s necessary in light of today’s events. I have to say something for all of those secretly suffering with mental illness, discouragement, depression etc. I can’t just “not focus” on something that is such a HUGE part of the person’s existance for possibly a long time and, unfortunately, that they did not overcome. Something that they may have very well wanted and NEEDED to be focused on to provide them with understanding, solace, practical help and hope. My heart bleeds for Don and his family.
If anyone is out there reading this and entirely understands the lyrics of the songs I posted, or is feeling depressed, hopeless, or suicidal please please please get help! Life does not have to be so overwhelmingly pointless … there is hope … there is light … you can laugh again … if no one else tells you today, I understand, I really do.
If you, or anyone you know, is depressed, having suicidal thoughts, or just needs to talk to someone
Please call: In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255
For Hearing and Speech Impaired with TTY Equipment:
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger because of thoughts of suicide, PLEASE CALL 911
Warning signs: Suicide Warning Signs
Outside of US, please contact your local emergency number.
I pray that you have finally found peace Don Cornelius, and as always in parting, we wish you love, peace and soul.
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