A Black Woman Healing ๐ŸคŽ๐Ÿ Glamazini
My Life In The Sunshine

Fraternizing With The Locals โ€ข Do You Know Your Neighbors?

Do you talk to your neighbors?

I don’t.

I was on ClumpsofMascara.com and this post got me thinking about that subject, so I thought I’d pose the question to you Glam Fam.

Are your neighbors part of your day/life/anything?

My answer may shock you but I totally don’t … as in don’t even know their names (although I do know the one neighbor’s on the left dog’s name is ‘Avery’ just because when he was a puppy he stayed running in my yard and garage and one time tried to bust up into my house and I would’ve totally kept him if that wasn’t considered stealing #truestory Apparently I’m that “keep your dog off my lawn” neighbor ).

Focus.

Do you have any fun stories about your neighbors, positive or negative? Share in the comments below!

~~~~~~~

Ok, here are my neighbor stories for your reading pleasure:

The Old Lady On The First Floor

Many moons (houses/apartments) ago, I lived in a 3rd-floor walk-up in central St. Louis with lots of sunlight and honey-brown hardwood floors. It was a well-taken-care-of older building with loads of character but not a lot of space. That didn’t matter ’cause it was just me and my plants.

I loved that apartment; I’d moved there in a hurry after almost dying in a fire in a previous apartment. ย There was a little old lady that lived on the 1st floor, and since the washer and dryer were in the basement I spent ample time hiking up and down the fire escape past her back porch to wash my skivvies. She kept a small garden and would come out and chat when I was passing. I learned that she’d lived in that apartment her entire life! Apparently, it was her parent’s home when she was born and the rest is history. Amazing huh? I often wonder what happened to her.

The Last Time I Knew Who Lived Next Door

I bought my 1st house soon after the apartment above, and once again, it was big on character and small on space. It was just me and my cats at this point, so I was happy. Every house around me was double the size of my little 900+ square foot bungalow, and I think the residents nearest to me took to taking care of me since I was a single young lady living on her own. The couple next door would watch my house when I was out of town and tell me if anyone suspicious was lingering (like when I got a call about a creepy guy who turned out to be my handyman fixing something LOL). Dan and Maria: they were chainsmokers with heavy New York accents, and they both did the Atkins diet when it first became popular and shrunk down to a portion of their size #random. I also remember the owner of the quad apartments next to them (and the person who sold me the house) once mowed my lawn for me without me asking when my lawnmower was broken.

Ok, one more (and this one is not a happy memory)

The Childย Molesterย 3 Doors Down

Yeah, you read that right.

A little over a year ago I was hurrying home to film a video with my sister-in-law and nephew when they called and mentioned that my house was “surrounded by po po”. Assuming they were jesting I carried on as is until I turned into my subdivision and noticed a police car posted right at the entrance, then another at the next cross street, and so on and so on. When I arrived at my house, my sister-in-law was waiting on the driveway, and the house 3 doors down was surrounded by police cruisers!

Uh.

I pulled into my garage, and we made the video. Fast forward, and hubby comes to me one day asking if I heard about the neighbor who had been arrested on SIX counts of statutory rape of his OWN CHILDREN OOOOO_oooooo_OOOOOO

WHAT! THE! FLIPS?!!!

I had JUST seen dude outside prior to the po po raid in some shorts and flip flops putting out the trash, and I thought “dude, it’s 2 degrees out here seriously?!”. Now he was gone, and his wife (who was from the Bahamas but I did not know that because I don’t talk to my neighbors #caribbeanneighborFAIL) had taken the children and left.

A. maz. ing.

So do you talk to your neighbors? Share your stories below!

ย 

::::::::::::::::

UPDATE: ย I added this story below in the comments and thought I’d share up here:

BAM!

Uh, you made me think of the one apartment I had in the hood years back. My window faced the parking lot (about 20 cars) and I heard a BOOM! then saw a bright light. I look out and a CAR IS ON FIRE on the lot! O_O โ€ฆ I run out my apartment to the staircase (Iโ€™m on the top floor). When I get to the 2nd level some chick is standing in the stairwell, looking out the window at the parking lot, smoking a cigarette and says to me โ€œYeah, thatโ€™s my sh*tโ€.

Uh maโ€™am?

When I got down to the ground floor the firefighters were there and asked me if I saw anything. I turn to the window and said โ€œyeah, thatโ€™s her right there, she just said itโ€™s her carโ€ but then she turned left. They went to look for her but I never found out if they found her.

Later on there was yet another fire incident at that complex with the meters. Then lastly I almost died when some set a table on fire with rags on my floor. I literally had to be carried out by firefighters.


Roshini Cope, aka Glamazini, is a life coach and video creator who gained a following for her natural hair tutorials, which evolved into authentic personal stories of healing with a consistent dash of humor. She is a black woman healing helping other black women heal, expand their self-awareness, reclaim their joy, and create the life they want. Work with Roshini ๐ŸคŽโœจ๐ŸคŽ

30 Comments

  • Khyla

    No ma’am! I have always lived in an apartment and I move just about every year (on to something bigger & better). I only say “Hi, how are you?” if we happen to be outside at the same time such as going to our cars in the morning, getting out of our cars at the same time, etc. I don’t know their names or anything.

    So here’s my story. I came home one day after work and saw an unmarked police car and a regular police car in front of my apt where I usually parked. My hubby’s (fiancรฉ) at the time was home that day. Before getting out of my car, I called him and asked if he was home and if he was ok, and he said yeah and asked why. So I told him there were 2 police cars outside and I wanted to make sure he was ok. Fast forward to that night around 9pm, POLICE AND SWAT EVERYWHERE!! The way the building was made, there were 3 floors. Our apt was on the bottom (what some would consider the basement because it was partially underground) and from our bedroom window, we could see the parking lot. We kept hearing people go in and out of the front door and up and down the stairs and didn’t know what was going on. It looked like an episode of CSI with the brown paper bags and they all had on jackets that had either police, SWAT or investigators. A friend who lived in another part of the complex rode by and saw the commotion and asked what was going on but we had no clue. The next morning she called me and told me that my 3rd floor neighbor was the guy who shot and killed people at a hospital the day before. I had just seen this dude and like I said previously, when I walk by, the basic “Hey, how are you?” He seemed friendly. He always responded. You can read the story here. http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2010/apr/20/hospital-shooting-ends-2-dead/ But the ‘it’s a small world’ moment came a few days later at work. My boss and I were talking about the whole situation along with some other co-workers. Before I even told them that ol’ dude was my upstairs neighbor, my co-workers mentioned that the gun that was used was a gun stolen from their house. So apparently, ol’ dude bought a stolen gun and killed people. That’s why I just stay to myself!!

    • glamazini

      What the heezy?!!! O_O

      Uh, you made me think of the one apartment I had in the hood years back. My window faced the parking lot (about 20 cars) and I heard a BOOM! then saw a bright light. I look out and a CAR IS ON FIRE on the lot! O_O … I run out my apartment to the staircase (I’m on the top floor). When I get to the 2nd level some chick is standing in the stairwell, looking out the window at the parking lot, smoking a cigarette and says to me “Yeah, that’s my sh*t”. Uh ma’am? When I got down to the ground floor the firefighters were there and asked me if I saw anything. I turn to the window and said “yeah, that’s her right there, she just said it’s her car” but then she turned left. They went to look for her but I never found out if they found her.

      Later on there was yet another fire incident at that complex with the meters. Then lastly I almost died when some set a table on fire with rags on my floor. I literally had to be carried out by firefighters.

  • Vee

    I have a very friendly relationship with some of my neighbours (except for the ones who live directly next door on either side, no reason just don’t see them enough to talk), and am thrilled at how culturally diverse my neighbourhood is. So a few months back we had some plumbers come by to work on the pipes outside. They came late and we had plans, so we had to leave. Anywho, my neighbour across the street sees the white van parked in front of the house and knew we weren’t home. So this maniac charges over to our house (he’s a really boisterous man) with cell phone in hand and says, “I don’t know who the blank you are, but I’m calling the police right now.” The poor little plumbers get all nervous and call my husband’s cell to tell him that this dude is threatening to call the cops on them. The plumber puts the neighbour on the phone with hubby who told him that its okay, these guys are supposed to be there. As a thank you for looking out for my home, I gave him a tupperware lunch set and reminded him that next time he should just call us just instead of confronting people that he doesn’t know.” Well it turns out that he was hypervigilant because one our neighbours got rob (directly next door to him) while he was home and he felt badly about it.

    • glamazini

      LOL! Yeah, in the neighborhood in my story #2 I would get calls from several different neighbors if ANYTHING suspicious was happening at my house. I remember being out of town and the older gentleman across he street called me to ask if the white lady with the blue car is supposed to be at my house. LOL! Uh yeah, she was checking on my cats for me but I thought it was so cute. That was such a nice neighborhood.

  • Daaimah

    We don’t know our neighbors. Outside of saying hello me and my hubby keep it moving. We are just private people and I see nothing wrong with being polite but I don’t like when people try to pry and get information out of me. Mind ya business. lol and keep it moving. Just don’t trust people these days. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Vee

      awww, don’t be like that, LOL. You and the neighbours don’t have to be all up in each others coffee to be friendly. I don’t even know my neighbours’ last names or ever been in their house, but we are friendly enough that they will throw a cup of water on the house if its on fire. We talk about lawn care, the HOA and babies/grandbabies My mango tree uprooted during some very strong winds and all 3 neighbours from across the street came over to help set it up right and replant it. Hubby has helped them move washing machines and such into their wash rooms. When we had our daughter, 3 of the folks on our street gave us gifts (that was actually the first friendly gesture after we moved into the neighbour). On the flip side, I’ve lived in a 12 unit apartment building for 6 years and I can guarantee if i ever saw any of them out in Walmart, I would have no clue who they were. I guess it all depends on the climate of your neighbourhood.

      • glamazini

        Mango tree? Where are you?

        See that brings up a good point, I know ALL my neighbors in the Virgin Islands … up here in Missouri, not so much.

        Send me some mangoes!!!

        • Vee

          I’m from Barbados and sadly the neighbours were always all up in your business. I live in FL now and my tree is flowering right now and I see little midget mangos budding now. When i was preggers i craved Mangoes like nobody’s business. So if we get fruit in 3 month, I’ll holler at you and little no name ๐Ÿ˜€

    • glamazini

      I used to just pull up in my garage here so they never even got a “hello” from me. Darn shame. Meanwhile hubby is outside fraternizing like a mug! I swear there was a time they didn’t even know what I looked like. I’m better now, I’ll wave and say hi.

  • Tee

    I don’t know if it’s my neighborhood or what but no I don’t have a ‘relationship’ with my neighbors. We casually say hello and I’ve even had to ask one of the neighbors to quiet down late at night. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable going over and chatting. When I first moved there, I went around to the 4 houses around me and delivered a little ‘care; package to those neighbors. It was basically candy and a card introducing myself. Only one neighbor even answered the door. People really keep to themselves where I live. No one ever came to say thank you either. I have lived there for 3 years. The first spring/summer, I walked the entire neighborhood almost every day just for exercise and to check it out more. I found some very friendly neighbors in my subdivision. One lady I met walks daily and has lost over 200 lbs over the course of 6 years. She is amazing and always nice to see out. I also found out that one of my neighbors went to high school with me – he and his family live in my neighborhood. So I have put in effort. But we need a block party or something to set it off! Does anybody remember those?

    • glamazini

      I never experienced a block party but I know the concept and it seems fun. I’ve thought about doing a night time movie thing in my back yard for neighbors etc, but I’d have to get my basement finished with a bathroom they could use. Who knows … when the kid gets bigger that may be a nice thing to do in our yard, it’s big enough.

  • Daaimah

    @ Tee girl you just brought me back to Philly. They still have block parties there. Not here in the Atlanta Area where I live. I loved block parties. ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s when everybody knew one another. Those were the days. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Charms

    Oh Yes…………………………………….. I have a story.
    So my neighbour (old neighbour – hightailed it out of that neighbourhood as quickly as I could) he was a ridiculous person. Had a family of 6 which grew every year (when he moved there 3 years ago he had 3 children…) but neither him or his “wife” ever went to work…(what?).
    So every now and then he would see me outside and would ask to borrow my lawnmower, or a tool, or the snow blower, and it went on and on…but this day I was taken aback by the audacity!! He rang my doorbell and as I opened the door all I kept thinking “What does this man want now – kiss teet?” Here is how the conversation went:
    Neighbs – Hey there neighbour (Yes he did actually say that)
    Me: Hi
    Neighbs: So I’m really running low on cash and was wondering if you could lend me $20.00?
    Me: Pardon? O_O
    Neighbs: Can I borrow 20 bucks?
    Me: I’m sorry I don’t have any cash on me at the moment…(tried to be nice and not blow him away with the resounding NO that was coming out of my spirit)
    Neighbs: So umm can you run to the bank machine down the street and get it? I’ll be home.
    Me: I’m sorry that would be a NO (then I looked up to Jesus and asked him to take the wheel!)
    The NERVE…

    End of Story

    Love your blog girl!!

  • Zees

    I have never been friendly with my neighbors; I barely smile with them and usually do not say hello. I was raised in a dangerous neighborhood (basically the hood). Additionally, I am always super suspicious and untrusting of people (if untrusting is even a word).

    Great blog Roshini!

    • glamazini

      Great point, it probably depends on where you grew up and what your concept of “neighbor” is. That said, my anti-social behavior makes no sense since I loved all my neighbors growing up, knew them all, and still go holla at them when I go back home to the Virgin Islands *shrug*.

  • BigTickles

    Yes I know my neighbors..or use to..

    When I was growing up, we knew every family on our street and two streets down. It was truly a village. In middle school, one of my neighbors almost got abducted on the way to school. Granted, school was two blocks away for middle and five blocks away for high school. Grandmas and mommas would stand at the corners to make sure EVERYONE got to where they needed. Back to the almost abduction, someone tried to pull the girl in the car and it was like all the men in our neighborhood heard the call “mount up!” He was captured like an hour later. When our homes started being burglarized, neighborhood watch kicked in and we had around the clock protection. We had the keys to our neighbors home and we would snitch in a heartbeat if we did not know you.

    When the hubby and I bought our home, we walked around to get to know everybody…we nosy like that. Plus I like to know what is going on in my neighborhood. Sadly, over 75% of our community is now in foreclosure and now have rentals so we never know who is coming and going. We only really know the people next door and right across the street. However, I do consistently check online for sexual offenders.

    Maybe it was the way I was raised but I can truly see myself still being the eyes and ears of the neighborhood when I grow old. I don’t play that; especially since I had my sons. Oh no, no foolishness in my neighborhood…no sir / no ma’am.

    • glamazini

      You gonna be that old lady that knows EVERYTHING! HA! I should totally start looking up sex offenders too ’cause that mess across the street with ole boy had me HEATED! I swear if he had laid a hand on my nephew or nieces I woulda burned the whole set down!

      • Vee

        I look up sex offenders every few month. I want to know where they are and if they move into the neighbourhood. Momma Vee don’t play, we have too many neighbourhood kids playing in the subdivision, so i need to know what they may possibly look like.

  • Dana

    Donโ€™t really know the neighbors. All the ones I did know had the goodwill choked out of them by our craptastic hoa management company and they moved away. This includes my next door neighbors.

    In their place they left the most obnoxious couple ever. Hubby and I were talking to another (now ex-) neighbor who is a fencing contractor about putting up our fence and this fool comes over talking about, โ€œohโ€ฆyou guys are doing a lot. First the grass now the fenceโ€ฆ.the homeownerโ€™s donโ€™t mind you doing all of this?โ€ No joke. Fence guy looked at me like is this dude crazy? I looked at neighbor in disbelief. Husband corrected neighbor like, what? I AM the homeowner.

    His reply? Oh.

    So no. I donโ€™t talk to his ignorant self or his equally ratchet wife. I almost had to come home from work and tell her about herself for disrespecting folks that were working on my property. He put me on speaker so I could hear her ranting. If I couldโ€™ve genie poofed myself home she wouldโ€™ve โ€œaccidentallyโ€ caught a blow in the mouth.

    Oh, and I’m completely overlooking the fact he (neighbor) sent someone I didn’t know to my house that wasn’t a fencing contractor to give me a quote to undercut the fence dude from above because the neighbor and fence dude had their own issues. These folks are messy to the 9th degree.

  • tiashauntee

    We speak to our neighbors and I am glad that we do because in a time of emergency (a bad storm damaged our house severely) they all came over and helped us clean up and repair our roof. It was very nice and I know it would not happen if we didn’t speak. Thankfully we are on a street with good people, church folks, and a minister. God was truly watching over us. It’s some other streets in our neighborhood that are not so nice.

  • April

    My conversation with my neighbors consists of a Hello Nod coming in from work or and a knock on their door 2:30-3 a.m. asking them to turn down the music, stop slamming their doors so loud or if they could cease from dragging that 400lb body across the floor every morning before the break of dawn (upstairs neighbor)!!!

    I’m apparently hypersensitive to noise according to my neighbors because I HATE the thumbing noise all day and night. When I’ve gotten to my wits end on two occasions, I just prayed God. I can’t do this, I don’t want to take matters into my own hands but I REQUIRE peace in my Home. When I awoke the next morning, there were moving trucks outside. NO LIE. Its happened on two occasions. The Lord didn’t move the others, he moved ME instead, and I’m so okay with that.

    • glamazini

      LOL!!! Girl you running folks off?! Maybe you need a house and not an apartment, that way there are no shared walls! ROFLMBO about the 400lb body! I rarely had a problem with noise in my apartment days. Worst issue I had was my neighbors dog hair in the stairwell. It would straight be like tumbleweeds out there, to the point that I preferred to use the fire escape and back door than come in the front and have to sweep up and entire puppy worth of hair every time.

  • Alisha

    I talk to everyone in my cul-de-sac (8 houses). I lived here for 12 years and I love them all except the funky people across the street. I went an bought one of those “slow your funky arse” neon men signs just for them because they turn down the street to fast. And they apparently do mission work but can’t talk to the folks on their street. Whatever. And the retired cop at the end is the best. He STAYS looking out for all of us. I’m very lucky and tell all my neighbors they better not leave…LOL!

    • glamazini

      You are very lucky, I kinda miss knowing who lives next door. I’ve been here for 7 years and it’s been weird to say the least.

  • Creole Soul

    The only neighbors I know are my parent’s neighbors. My parents have been in their current house for 24 years now and they all know each other pretty well. The neighbors across the street helped out my mom and dad when my mom had to go to the hospital and they will visit and chat on occasion. Oh yeah, they all, including my parents, give each other vegetables out their gardens. I can’t tell you how many green beans I’ve eaten over the years from their neighbor across the street and my dad gives them tomotoes, squash and collards. It’s a good thing though because it’s a military retirement community and they all look out for each other.

    I don’t know any of my neighbors now though because I just moved here.

    • glamazini

      This is a great example of what I mean. Back in the day we used to know who we lived next to so it makes sense you know your parent’s neighbors especially if they’ve been in their house for 24 years. Now-a-days not so much. I know all my neighbors in the Virgin Islands where I grew up and in my earlier homes. Not now.

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