I started this post last week but had to rethink it after the death of Avonte rattled me a bit (a bunch). Avonte Oquendo, an autistic 14 year old who went missing from his school late last year, was found in the Queens river last week. My heart still grieves for his family. Needless to say I went from nervous to mildly terrified, but this is part of our lives as mothers who choose not to homeschool so I press.
I posed the question to my fam on my IamGlamazini YouTube channel (click here to subscribe), and now I’d love to hear from my Glam Fam here on the blog.
I can’t say I’m a pro at this mothering thing just yet, even with 19 months under my belt. I do know this, I’m not stay-at-home mom material one bit. I’ve done it for the past year and a half out of necessity not desire.
During the 20th week of my first ever pregnancy I got the news that I was having a son *YAY* and he would be born with Spina Bifida *boooooo* & that he may not live beyond 3 days due to a bunch of other professions that did not happen (thank you God). Obviously that experience knocked the wind out of me to put it lightly, but I eventually picked myself up, brushed myself off, endured, and now here we are 2 years later with an opinionated 19 month old and a desire for him to get more mental stimulation than I can provide at home.
Wait, let’s rewind for a sec.
I had been working in Corporate America for 15 years when I got the news about my son on February 14, 2012. Probably because of the shock, I was not too upset when a few days later my boss told me that my contract would be ending a month earlier than planned. I spent the remaining 18 weeks of my pregnancy having tests done, praying, and trying to stay as healthy as possible.
When my son was born I was onto the next phase of this crazy tornadoesque experience that I call motherhood. This phase consisted of 5 weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) while I was so post-op swollen from an unwanted C-section that I was in a wheelchair for 4 of those 5 weeks. It was not easy. As an aside, I plan on posting a video finally telling my birth story on February 14th of this year so stay tuned.
Once the NICU season was done, we brought home a 6-week old little boy with multiple wounds from multiple surgeries. One of those wounds, his actual closure of his spine and back, was still open and would take then next 3 months to heal entirely. I stayed at home during that season because, well, I had an my first every infant with an OPEN wound during the winter … who WOULDN’T stay home? *shrug*
Finally around Thanksgiving of 2012 I ventured out … of town … with family, but even then I was (and still remain) pretty limited in my outings with my son.
At this point my son’s personality is really blooming, he’s been getting in-home therapies for most of his life and making good progress, and we think he needs more stimulation than I can possibly give. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I too need some time away from the whole all-day-every-day-mom thing but that’s a whole other blog post.
So I’m sure you can see that after everything I just shared with you all why I’m like “I’m supposed to just hand my kid to strangers?!”
I know everyone else does it but how? How do ya’ll mothers do this so casually and nonchalant like? I am fully aware that I will have to send him somewhere some day, but after 19 months of taking care of his needs I have to admit that I’m in a small panic. My YouTube fam gave me some great advice. I’m trying to look at it like “I let strangers in the NICU care for him, other’s are capable of taking care of my son” but I’d still love to hear from you in the comments below. I know first time moms of typical and special needs kids get my gist on the mild panic right?
Oh, here I am explaining this very thing via video:
My husband and I toured a potential inclusive school for him recently so hit me: