Have you ever had someone tell you what to do without telling you how to do it?
Have you ever had an inquiry of how to accomplish something be met with this look right here »» «« or better yet this one »» «« or even this one »» ««. Lately I've found myself asking for "the how" from many people and getting mixed responses: some positive, some negative, some confused, some annoyed, some forthcoming. I've been accused of "asking many questions" and I've grown to comfortably own that title. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it's gonna help me understand what the heck you are talking about.
I'm amused by people's aversions to expounding or clarifying their point. When met with such responses, it always seems they are mad you didn't understand them the first time (or maybe that's just the interaction designer in me). It never dawns on folks that (a) you may want more detail than what they provided or may need step-by-step instructions because this thing does not come naturally to you or (b) they were unclear and you didn't understand them one bit. The onus of understanding their point seems to fall on you, the reciever, and not them the communicator … if that makes any sense (although I feel I've split points a tad). I must confess I was that person until recent years when I married someone who "worketh patience" in me.
Moving right along …
I'm sure an example would help this discussion: Let's imagine you continually fail at losing weight no matter how much you attempt to do so. Every 6 months you're up 1 dress size and you're tired of wearing your pants unbuttoned and not being able to tuck in your shirt. Meanwhile your cousin Pookie (yes Pookie) lives in Slim Town. You know it's not hereditary because everyone else in your family is big boned, so one day you saunter all size 24 of you up to Pooks and ask "How do I lose weight?" … to which she responds "Eat right and exercise" … to which you retort with "How?" and get this joint right here »» «« or even "Well … you just eat right and exercise."
Or try this one one for size: You need a job. Times are hard and we (yes we) in a recession. Momma been laid off … Pappa been laid off … your brother's been laid off for more than two years now (oooh Billy can't get a job ). You were at your last gig for 18 years and need a résumé STAT! You roll up on your cousin Belinda who is holding down 3 full-times and a part-time, and ask her to help bring your résumé to life. She says "Write down what you did at your last job." and you do this right here »» «« then hit her with "How; I haven't had a resume in 20 years." … and then you guys go in a "write it down" "how?" "just write it down" "how?" conversation loop until someone runs from the room screaming for security.
Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day, teach him how to fish he'll eat forever … tell him he needs to fish and he's gonna ask you "how".
I suppose this post has no purpose except a brain dump of sorts. Ya'll know I do that from time to time. I guess the takeaway could be to be more patient with people and understand that, what comes easily to you may be absolutely confusing to another person, so when they ask for clarification be gracious and respond well. I'm learning patience with age (35 ) and this includes stopping, giving someone my full attention, and answering their inquiries as to "how" (or at least pointing them in the direction of the already provided answer). I've had this website for 9 years and trust me, I get asked the same questions over and over. I'm not always able to answer every inquiry, BUT when I do, I try my darnedest to give steps so they can replicate what I did, even if (to me) those steps seem simplistic. I've learned that graciously answering the how can go a long way.
Brain dump complete.
Until next time Glam Fam I wish you
Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Nappyness,