Why Rest Feels Hard (Especially for Black Women)

Hey sis. If you sit down to rest and your brain starts sprinting through dishes, emails, and texts, you are not broken. You are conditioned. Your body has been keeping score for a long time.

Today, we will talk about why rest feels hard, what your nervous system is doing in the background, and simple ways to teach your body that peace is safe. We will keep it real, gentle, and useful.

When rest feels wrong

Many of us grew up hearing the same message. Go. Prove. Perform. Hold the family, the job, the group chat, and sometimes the whole world together. Be twice as good just to be seen as enough. People even praise exhaustion like it is a trophy.

So when you finally sit down, your body sounds an alarm. Get up. You are in danger. That is not laziness. That is survival training that got stuck on repeat. Your body learned that motion means safety. Stillness felt risky. Even now, rest can wake up that old alarm, even when you are safe.

Nervous System 101 ~ easy and true

Think of your nervous system as a control center. It helps run your heart rate, your breathing, your digestion, your emotions, and your reactions.

There are two big parts:

• Central Nervous System is your brain and spinal cord. That is the main hub.

• Peripheral Nervous System is all the nerves that branch out to the rest of your body. Those are the messengers.

Your peripheral system has two main settings.

• Sympathetic is go mode. Fight. Flight. Freeze. Your body says something might be wrong so let us move.

• Parasympathetic is chill mode. Rest and digest. Your body says you are safe and you can breathe.

Many Black women spend so much time in go mode that chill mode feels strange or even unsafe. If no one modeled safe rest for you, your body might not trust it yet. That is learned. You can relearn it.

The story beneath our story

Our ancestors were forced to work and were punished for resting. Safety in stillness was not real for them. Those patterns echo in our bodies, our homes, our churches, and our culture. This is not about shame. It is context. When you sit down and feel panic, your body might be remembering, even when your mind is not.

My story ~ when peace felt like a problem

I used to sit down and feel guilty right away. I would grab my phone, fold laundry, or answer messages just to escape the discomfort. One day, I asked myself a new question. What if I do not get up? I did not know the answer, because I had never tried.

I began to practice rest on purpose. I took one deep breath, then another. I took short naps. I listened to softer music. I went on slow walks. I sat in sunlight with no headphones and noticed tiny things like birds singing and the way the light moved across the floor.

At first it felt strange. Then it started to feel safe. Then it felt good. Soon I craved it. I learned that rest is not a reward you earn. Rest is a requirement you allow.

Are you hooked on the rush?

Constant fight or flight can feel like fuel. Chaos can look like purpose. Calm can seem boring. That is cortisol, not character. As you practice regulation, the taste for chaos fades, and peace starts to feel like home.

How to retrain your body this week

Keep it tiny. Keep it daily. Keep it kind.

Try these micro practices.

• The 30-second pause. Inhale through your nose. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Do that three times. Notice what you feel. Do not judge it.

• Ask your body. What do you need right now? Water, bathroom, snack, stretch, or sunlight. Give yourself that.

• Soft focus walk. Take five minutes outside with no podcast. Notice colors, sounds, and light.

• Gentle swap. Trade one hype soundtrack for something calm during chores or your commute.

• Permission phrase. Say this out loud. "Rest is safe enough right now."

If rest makes you cry, that is release, not failure. Your body is letting go. Put a hand on your chest, breathe slowly, and be tender with yourself.

How you know you are regulating

Your breathing slows on its own. Your thoughts feel clearer. You remember basic needs like eating and using the bathroom. You can pause before reacting. You feel present in your body, not only in your head. Tiny signals add up. Integration beats information, meaning you act, not just keep learning.

Reflect with me

Where have I treated rest like a prize I must earn.
What would change if I treated rest like oxygen.
Share one sentence in the comments.

Create Your Life ~ structure for peace

If you are ready to stop surviving on fumes and build from enoughness, come work with me.

Create Your Life™: Virtual Planning Retreat + 10 Month Coaching Incubator happens twice a year in June and December. The next cohort starts on December 12.

Learn more. Read real testimonials. Join the December cohort or join the waitlist for June.
👉🏽 glamazini.com/virtual-planning-retreat

Inside Create Your Life™, we practice holding our peace steady even when the world does not get it. You will get planning, healing, accountability, and community so your life fits your nervous system instead of fighting it.

Try this today

Close your eyes. Inhale. Slow exhale. Whisper this. I do not have to earn my pause.
Smile. Breathe. Rest anyway. Over time, your body will learn that peace means safety. Safety opens the door to freedom.

Be well, be encouraged, keep creating. 🫴🏽🍍 ✨