I was scrolling TikTok recently and heard a creator say something that completely shifted how I think about boundaries:

“Boundaries only speed up time.”
~ @sensible_amber

Whew. Let’s unpack that.

Boundaries Don’t Create, They Reveal

Setting a boundary doesn’t make something happen that wasn’t already going to happen. It just accelerates the timeline.

Think about it:

• That friend who only calls when she needs something? The boundary just makes it clear faster that it was never mutual.

• That family member who flips out when you don’t drop everything for them? The scorekeeping was already there.

• That colleague who bristles when you log off at 5? They were always planning to overwork you.

The boundary doesn’t create the problem. It shines a light on what was already true.

The Pattern I Had to Face

Just like the TikToker, for years, I attracted and enabled chronically dysregulated people. Not “going through a rough patch,” people—chronically and willfully dysregulated people. Folks who weren’t interested in changing, but who expected me to absorb their emotional overflow.

Instead of pulling back, I’d give more. More time. More energy. More emotional labor. Until one day, I realized: that’s not love, that’s self-abandonment.

The Work I Had to Do

So I started reclaiming my energy. Saying things like:

• “I can’t be the person you process this with.”

• “I want to be here for you, but not like that.”

• “We don’t have that kind of relationship.”

And yes—it created distance. Some people didn’t like it. But here’s the truth: they were always going to leave. The boundary just moved the clock forward.

And in doing so, I released the need to manage energy that did not belong to me. I stopped equating emotional labor with love, and in doing so, honored others' paths without making them my assignment. I stopped anchoring myself in dysfunction and let go of what was never mine to heal.

The Freedom in This Realization

When you know boundaries speed up time, you stop worrying about being “too much” or “too difficult.” You realize you’re not ruining relationships—you’re clarifying which ones were real.

The people who respect your boundaries? They were always going to respect you.
The people who fight your boundaries? They were always going to drain you if you let them.

You're actually not losing, your gaining.

What This Means for Your Healing

If you avoid boundaries because you’re afraid of conflict or rejection, hear me: that conflict was already baked in. The rejection was always possible.

The boundary just helps you find out sooner—while you still have your energy intact.

So ask yourself: do you want to discover the truth after years of overextending? Or do you want to know now, while you’re still whole?

The Practical Application

Start small. Practice bringing your energy back to yourself:

• Notice when you’re giving more than feels sustainable.

• Pay attention to people who only reach out when they need something.

• Check in with your body—are you energized or drained?

• Trust what you notice instead of explaining it away.

Your boundaries aren’t mean. They’re not selfish. They’re not dramatic.
They’re just speeding up time—helping you see the truth sooner.

Ready to Take This Deeper?

🍍 Start with my brand-new 100 Boundaries That Work: Scripts for Friends, Family, Work, and Love
It’s 100 ready-to-use scripts for friends, family, work, and relationships—so you don’t have to stumble for words when setting a boundary.

💬 Already inside the community? Let’s take this further with the Pineapple Crowns Group Coaching membership or 1:1 coaching, where we practice boundaries, self-trust, and reclaiming your energy in real time.

You deserve relationships that don’t require you to shrink to keep the peace.

Boldly & Brilliantly,
Coach Roshini 🍍✨